Bruised

I'm Ava Carter, and I'm a member of the Crystal Blue pack—at least, I think I am. I don't know if I can call myself a member of a pack that tortures its own pack members for its own twisted satisfaction. I'm a walking punching bag for anyone who feels the need to hit something, or in my case, someone. It's absolute torture living among these people, people I thought would be there to protect me, not cause me even more suffering than I've already endured. I'm a loner—not by choice but a loner, nonetheless. It's easy for them to take advantage of me because I'm a weakling. In fact, I'm the weakest person in my pack. I wasn't always so weak, but over time, as the beatings intensified, I lost communication with my wolf. I think she was mad that I never stood up for myself—that or she became too weak from all the beatings I endured over the years. It wasn't always like this though. There was a time in my life when I was somewhat happy. I was told, when I was old enough to understand, that my parents had left me in a basket on the border of the pack's territory. I had been found by border patrol, who then brought me back to the pack house. The Luna took me in almost immediately and raised me as her own. She only had one son, and after giving birth, she had been told by a healer from a faraway pack that she couldn't conceive any more children. I think that was one of the reasons she took me in. I was happy living with Alpha Benjamin, Luna Caroline, and their son, Caleb. Caroline was the one who named me, giving me their last name, Carter. They were the Carters—loving, kind, and gentle. They always put their people first and made sure that everyone was treated equally. That didn't last long, though, nor did my happiness. Luna Caroline died when I was six, taking my happiness with her. Everyone blamed me for her death. She died protecting me from a rogue when there was a rogue attack on our pack. When the attack began, she told me to stay hidden in a secret passage, but I didn't listen. I was too scared to stay in the passage by myself, so I came out of hiding to find her. And that's when it happened. She was distracted for a second as she tried pleading with me to go back inside. A second, that was all it took. One of the rogues charged her and bit into her neck. All I could do was stand there, silently watching as the life drained from her once-vibrant eyes. I screamed at the top of my lungs as I ran over to her lifeless body. The rogues retreated when she fell with a thud to the ground, blood oozing out of her neck. I hugged her lifeless body with my small arms, sobbing as I got blood all over myself. When the Alpha found out what had happened from a warrior who had been in the room, my life turned to hell. Even now, at seventeen, I can still see the hatred in his eyes as if it all happened yesterday. I know he blames me for her death, because he never fails to remind me of how I took his mate from him. That was when he grew cold and distant. After her death, he started punishing me for the littlest things, like forgetting to clean the house. Yes, I have to clean the entire pack house, where at least fifty pack members live. I never complain, though, because I've always believed that I deserve everything that is happening to me. If I had just listened, then their Luna and the woman I knew as my mother would still be alive. It was my fault, and I will spend the rest of my life accepting their punishments until they forgive me.